How to Write and Deliver a Wedding Speech People Will Actually Remember
WRITTEN BY CHRISTOPHER HAYMON
There’s a very specific kind of panic that kicks in when someone asks you to give a wedding toast. It’s half flattery, half existential dread. You want to sound sincere, not sappy. You want to be funny, but not like you’re trying out material at a sad open mic. And underneath all that, you’re carrying the pressure of doing justice to two people you care about on one of the most important days of their lives. So how do you land something that’s actually memorable—something people feel without sounding like you printed it off Reddit five minutes ago? Start by understanding this: you’re not writing a speech, you’re crafting a moment.
Start with a Moment, Not a Quote
Please don’t open with a quote from Rumi or “Friends.” That’s the fastest way to sound generic. Think instead about the first time you saw them together, or the weird detail about their relationship that makes you smile. Let that story set the tone. A single vivid moment—funny or heartfelt or ridiculous—can crack the room open more than any perfectly polished line ever could.
Don’t Just Talk About the Couple—Talk to Them
It’s easy to get caught up narrating their love story like you're doing commentary on a documentary. But this isn’t for the guests—it’s for the couple. Face them. Speak directly to them. Tell them the things you’ve always thought but never said out loud: how proud you are, how much you admire what they’ve built, or how the way they look at each other makes you believe in things again.
Use Flashcards to Prepare
One of the most underrated tools when prepping a wedding toast is a simple set of flashcards. If you use a flashcard maker platform, you can utilize prompts to map out your main beats—stories, transitions, key lines—without locking yourself into a word-for-word recital. That way, you stay organized but still speak like a human being, not a teleprompter. It frees you up to look at the couple, feel the room, and deliver something real instead of robotic.
Know When to Land the Joke
Everyone loves a toast with a laugh. But this isn’t your audition for Saturday Night Live, and nobody wants to see a best man accidentally roast the groom into therapy. A little levity goes a long way if it’s rooted in love. If you can give the room one genuine laugh early on, it breaks the tension and makes the serious stuff land even harder when it comes.
Eye Contact Beats Eloquence Every Time
Forget trying to memorize it word for word. What people remember is how present you were. If you’re staring at your paper the whole time, you lose them—even if the words are good. Look up. Make eye contact. Let your voice crack. Let the nerves show. People won’t care about a stumble if they can feel that you mean every word of it.
Finish With a Feeling, Not a Cliché
Endings matter. Don’t cop out with “cheers to the happy couple” like you’re wrapping up a high school presentation. Instead, leave them with something real. One last line that lands like a soft punch to the chest—a final image, a hope, a quiet truth. It doesn’t have to be profound. It just has to be yours.
A wedding toast isn’t a performance. It’s a small, sacred thing: one person standing up to say, “I see this. I believe in this.” You’re not there to show off. You’re there to put words around the big, messy, beautiful thing happening in that room. And if you can manage that—even a little bit—you’ve done more than enough. So breathe. Speak. And give them a moment they’ll carry long after the music stops.
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WRITTEN BY CHRISTOPHER HAYMON